As I was explaining to a customer what "Kosher" is (seriously, you don't know ONE jew? WTF, lady?), I realized that she probably never cooks. Like, ever. The mystified expression on her face, as well the way she gingerly handled product (as though it might be an explosive or possibly contaminated with a foreign agent), led me to the conclusion that this was the first time all year she had been to a grocery store to buy something other than prepared meals. And then it hit me; of course! That's what's going on here! Half these people never cook! But now they're obliged to, and they have no idea what they're doing!
Obviously, this hypothesis doesn't explain away every stupid moment the holidays are sure to bring, but it certainly clears up a good number of ridiculous encounters I've had. If anything, I actually feel kind of sorry for these people. It's stressful enough to prepare a holiday meal for your whole family when you actually cook on a regular basis, but it must be downright terrifying if you basically subsist on fast food and whatever you can score from the vending machine in your office breakroom, and then suddenly everyone expects you to dust off your oven range and pretend to be domestic. Yikes. There's only so much that Martha Stewart can tell you, and once you've tapped every internet "Thanksgiving for dummies" resource that you can find, then what do you do? You ask your local, friendly grocer. So maybe I should resist the urge to roll my eyes the next time a customer asks me what cranberry sauce is made out of, because I'm obviously not dealing with the average shopper. I'm dealing with the culinary-impaired. It's a serious handicap.
... Ok, I'll probably still roll my eyes.
Anyway, your thoughts would be appreciated. I'm open to any other theories you might have, although I think mine's pretty good. And if you have any holiday horror stories/hilarious customer mishaps, 'tis the season for sharing!

Golly, even after culinary school, my sister STILL tries not to let me cook for the holidays. And I'm not trying to egghead, cold basil-infused linguine over roasted red pepper granita w/ parmesan foam, none of that. I'm just trying to make some goddamn beef motherfucking stew. Is that such an imposition? IS IT?
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